Sunday 10 May 2009

pointed west

Good lord. I am sitting here, in Heathrow, about to board a plane that will be flying me back to DC, back to the United States, and away from Europe, possibly indefinitely. There are simply no words to describe how I am feeling right now. People kept asking me if I was sad to leave and in some respects, I'm really not -- I am absolutely thrilled to be going home to normalcy, away from an unfavorable exchange rate, to good weather and blue skies and a shining sun and the beach and my family and friends. But, I also feel a strange pull of sadness to be leaving this place that has so completely changed me this semester.  I unfortunately did not reinvent myself, and mostly I'm still the same lame K10. But, I have learned so much about myself that I would have never learned otherwise. I have learned that I am capable of stepping out of my comfort zone. Previously I would be terrified of doing something out of the ordinary, and I am the girl who takes transition very poorly. And yes, there were a few bumpy weeks at the beginning as I struggled to get my feet. But throughout the past five months, I have done things I never would have done in "real" life (sung karaoke in a crowded bar, stalked a celebrity, sang German drinking songs with complete strangers). I have learned that I love reading maps (aka having control). With just two other people, I planned a month-long journey throughout Europe, transitioning from city-to-city with almost no hitches. I have taken courses in an English university (hating it every step of the way -- I REALLY hate the English system), made friends with people I would have never met otherwise, and seen countless plays, been to countless museums, and climbed a ridiculous number of towers. In short, I am forced to conclude that I am on my way to becoming a grown-up. 

Over the past five months, I have been to officially ten countries -- the United Kingdom (including Wales), Ireland, Spain, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Monaco, and France. I have been to 28 cities -- London, Cobham (totally counts), Oxford, Chepstow, Hay, whatever city our hostel was in, whatever city Tintern Abbey was in, whatever city Breacon Beacon National Park is in (clearly I was paying attention on this trip), Dublin, Haworth, Bath, Greenwich, Barcelona, Brussels, Bruges, Amsterdam, Frankfurt, Wurzburg, Rothenburg, Munich, Fussen, Innsbruck, Salzburg, Bern, Luzerne, Lyon, Monte Carlo, and Nice. I feel like I am forgetting some, but there you are.

Thus ends my study abroad adventure, my European travels, and my extended vacation. In a few short weeks, I will be starting my summer job, and in just a few months, I will be back at GW, trying to do far too much and graduating in a year?! When did that happen?!

But, until that I land, I am still on my extended vacation (with two bags of crisps and THREE BIG galaxy bars, may I point out. I NEED MY YUM YUMS). And so I am not a grown up, not just yet. 

Now, for the rest of this blog, I am dedicating it to the various mishaps and giggles that have occurred over the last semester. Unless you were in London with me, you probably won't want to read it, and unless you are Jenny or Molly, you'll probably just want to skim it (unless you enjoy reading inside jokes that you are not a part of ). Yes, I could have made this a cut, but I'm not connected to the internet right now so it would involve me doing it later and it getting all complicated and they have me pressing all these buttons.

-The undefeated BOX OF FROSTIES incident on the box, when I refused to leave behind a precious box of Frosties that cost only 89p trapped behind the bus door. As Jenny put it, I looked like a linebacker coming off the bus.
-The scary, scary CE VAAAA French woman in the hostel in Lyon, who REFUSED to unclasp my shoulder until I had kissed her cheek
-A vanilla bean is NOT a vanilla bean. It is a VANILLA CREEEME (and you must say it more menacingly every time that you do say it)
-Our various boys -- Jenny's bf Pierre, Sam the Stonemason who invited us to learn his craft on the roof of Selfridges, Mr. Cosy (who thought all of us being together was just SO COSY!), and of course Lee -- my dance partner -- who thought we were 15 (and still insisted on talking to us thinking we were underage).
-Karaoke in Belushis... my fabulous rendition of SEE YOU AGAIN. Even though they claim that I do the same move over and over again. Just wait till this summer when all of us get on stage for Breaking Free
-Molly's bf Joel, the engineer in Germany who played Kings with us and willing gave his arm to Molly so she could do her deed. 
-The study abroad reception at the end of the year, when I forced Molly to keep drinking wine and she fell on the street outside laughing, at 7:30pm, as the sun as still up.
-The supposed "Air Force" members we met in France, even though J and I severely doubt that, and my 50 year old French boyfriend who asked me to come visit him in Paris and he would teach me French
-Molly's paranoia. Nuff said.
-Molly running into EVERYONE SHE KNOWS in Europe, including Ari and Jared everywhere in Bruges, and then strangely (VERY strangely) in a random bakery in Amsterdam at 11:30pm
-Playing Monopoly and Taboo with an Australian and a Turk in Belgium
-Ari's inability to understand Jared's clues for "penguin."
-Random Belgian teenage boys asking us to do an "adult movie" with them in Brussels, as our French speaker Molly dissolves into giggles and I just keep saying "GOODBYE" hoping they would get the message
-McKenzie giving Molly and Jenny the "COME ON!" look as they failed to get off the bus 
-The "don't worry about it" weird half-smirk definitely-high girl in the tube station who later fell off the tube.
-Some stranger bending down and fluffing up my skirt that same night
-Walking back from the superbowl in a blizzard, the heaviest snowfall London has seen in 20 years, at 1 in the morning, singing Christmas carols 
-All the various trips to Pizza Hut and our inability to pass one without eating there. And I will never eat there again.
-Same with McDonalds. I swear I will never go to one in the States. It was just better in London! (cheap I mean)
-KRISTEN! A ghost. 
-"What just happened?" "They either saw a Pizza Hut or a ghost."
-Hiking eight miles in the rain in Haworth, me wanting to turn back as we are 200m away, and Molly screaming "HEATHCLIFF!" as we are still in the village. 
-MARTIN NOSEHAIR! the owner of the Bridgehouse B and B in Haworth. Husband of my best friend Claire Nosehair
-Me insisting that we climb up the hill in Bern, even though the path was about 20 yards away, and then falling down the 90 degree incline 3/4 of the way up into a crowd of marathoners
-Punting in Oxford -- my utter inability to handle the pole, the man asking us to get us his hat even though we CLEARLY have no skill, Molly colliding with the tree and insisting that it hurt too much to just soldier on through it, Molly screaming, "I feel like I'm in labor!!"
-Stalking the gentlemen in Eton.
-Stalking celebrities in general -- James McAvoy (going back to see him TWICE) and the bi-continental stalking effort of Taylor Swift, and J and I flat out running after paparazzi in order to catch a glimpse
-speaking of which, "Tay-la! Tay-la!"
-Attending far too many premieres and turning into a twelve-year old girl when Leo walked by
-Jenny insisting on saying, "bit-tay!" really loudly at inappropriate moments.
-The French guys coming up behind us on the escalator in Monaco and shouting, "SURPREEESE!"
-Joel's shining moment: "You sound like you're from London!"
-Various and sundry hostelmates, especially Mr. Ipod/the Happy Snorer - the 40 year old man who seemingly never left
-spending three hours on a Friday night in Borders to do "research" for our trip, even though we ended up buying the books anyway
-The infamous albums written by Jenny and I and co-written by Molly: Puddles of Love, Chubby Rain (the more soulful one), and the mystery third power ballad one 
-"When you are a cripple, I'll be your crutch (but I'm not going to carry you [walk on your own])"
-"If you are starving I will give you a morsel"
-the Brit's strange love of Sex on Fire -- did you know the Kings of Leon are from Tennessee and claim a southern rock influence??
-Raaaaapphhaaael, the Washingtonian 
-The Brit's STRANGER love of the Baywatch theme song, and instantly taking off their shirts every time it came on
-Shouting, "We're here!" far too many times.
-Jen forcing Molly to say "gd"
-Molly's ability to tell a Leah-like story ... for example, as we all snuggle into our beds in Bruges, she suddenly says, "Did I tell you about the time I lost all my teeth?" ...did anyone ask?? Ten minutes later, I still had no idea how she lost her teeth
-Going far too many times to Guy's Bar (like the weird 2os night) and the Trinity, mostly to stalk Molly's boyfriend who turned out not to be worth it 
-Molly's incredible wealth, racetrack in the backyard, five yachts, and three jets 
-Molly having to speak to Moooommmmaaa and Cupper all the TIME 
-In general, the weird relationships that the Silbers share 
-And more importantly Molly's twenty homes and Segways to get around her castles
-visiting the Residenz and after the guide asked what room he thought that was, Jenny suggesting the bathroom and Molly turning around to find him all up in her business
-Jenny's absolutely, absolutely disgusting cornrows and my inability to even look at them
-Our stupidity when it came to tipping in different countries, resulting in us mostly leaving a weird percentage tip on the table and running out quickly before anyone noticed -- and Molly never moving fast enough
-Molly's slow pace in general 
-Overuse and misuse of the word disgusting -- for example, my crushed roll of cookies were not "disgusting"
-Molly's inability to distinguish accents anymore 
-Jenny insisting on reciting Bonquiqui ALL THE TIME 
-Our very strict shower schedule on vacation and those wonderful times when we could all shower together!!
-The twenty fire alarms in GDSA in one day 
-Nicknames assigned to absolutely everyone we know 
-Playing MASH far too often, and mostly ending up with really crappy lives 
-NANDOS AND WAHACA DELISH 
-all three of us buying the exact same Oxford shirt. I would like to point out they copied ME.
-Trying to watch movies illegally online all the time and mostly failing. Curse our inability to use megavideo! 
-Calling Icco "iccky"
-Climbing every single tower in Europe we possibly could 
-Little J/ Special K/ Mol-lay 
-CHARLIE BIT ME!
-Visiting way too many Harry Potter sites -- trying to find Platform 9 3/4
-"I'm going to the loo. And when I come back, we're going to be civilized."
-Bruges = hell, according to Colin. And of course, "If I were raised on a farm, and I were retarded, then I might like Bruges. But I wasn't, so I don't!"
-Discovering the deliciousness that is strawberry beer and strawberry tea.
-Molly's ENORMOUS number of friends, but always making them wait before she would accept their friend request 
-My inability to understand the difference between shanking and poking 
-The scandal of the 13 year old father Alfie who actually turned out to NOT be the father!
-Jenny wanting to steal every child she came across, in an almost creepy fashion
-Molly's affinity for all of God's creatures... sheep, dogs, even disgusting bears in Switzerland
-My inability to say certain words like Swarovski
-Jenny deciding that every single time bells are ringing, the queen has died. One of the days she is going to be correct -- that is the scary part.
-The vast amount of public urination we witnesses
-Molly's idea of appropriate beach attire: jeans and sweatshirt with hood up
-My touch of death to my shoes, computer, hair dryer, sunglasses....
-Molly's touch of death to Jenny's converters
-Actually, Molly just failing to bring a converter in the first place
-As we decide to do the world-famous jumping picture on top of a hill in France, Molly's flip flop goes flying over the edge of the railing and plummets to the ground below...
-Someone (not me) always asking, "can we slow down?"
-Showing up to the wrong performance of Madame de Sade -- so apparently we had tickets to the matinee and NOT the evening performance...
-As a fun side note, Molly wrote this list out by hand and spelled Dame Judi's name wrong. EMBARRASSING! 
-Molly falling asleep instantly wherever we went 
-torturing Molly as she slept in THE most uncomfortable positions ever with gummi bears and nutella spread on her lips -- 'I woke up to deliciousness!'
-Standing, for hours on end, everywhere.
-McKenzie's scandalous stories and the way she reinvented herself like Madonna
-Molly apologizing for her supposed attitude from earlier that day even though that's what Jenny and I are like when we are in cheerful moods
-Molly's chemical inability to be sad
-Also as a fun side note, I just watched Marley and Me on the plane and had to stop because I was literally crying, in public, and I got embarrassed. now I don't know how the last five minutes go.
-Me crying ridiculously at Steel Magnolias. I mean it's one of the three movies I am guaranteed to cry for 
-Movie to celebrity to movie game and us playing it anytime, anywhere
-Calling dibsies on the street, in Oxford, in the elevator...
-Getting ice cream literally anywhere we can
-And of course MAGNUMS! 
-Every time we see a tattoo parlor: "Kristen? Tattoo?"
-Me bringing yum yums anywhere we go -- packing my jacket full before going on the hiking trip, bringing twelve bags of chips, chocolate covered raisins, two rolls of cookies, and eight mini boxes of cereal with me to Europe...
-Torture methods of choice: for Jenny, cutting off the eyelids; for me, shoving my fist down someone's throat
-the ridiculous biscuit conversation we had with the waiter 
-The "skittle-marick-e-dinky-dink" song... and I have NO IDEA how to spell that. go ahead and hate
-Molly constantly saying, "Don't hate!"
-Also Molly's inability to brush her hair 
-Molly and McKenzie trying to get into a club but refused because they are not gay
-As Jenny and I give directions to some very drunk British girls, they shout back -- "Americans! Good call on the off license!" and then one proceeds to say in an EXCELLENT American accent, "good morning upper east siders"
-"Puck you, miss! Puck you, with a p!" 
-Every time we take pictures, making them commercial or editorial, or shouting, "ONE TWO THREE POSE!"


ohmygoodness that's it. And if you read this far and you're not Molly or Jenny, I feel a little sad for you. It is now 3 London time... 10 DC time... another five hours before singing, "country roads, take me hooome... to the place.... I belong..." It's been a wild, insane, unbelievable adventure. Thanks for coming along.