ACTUALLY the end

All right, so I lied that last time. THIS is the last post on my European adventure.... and may I point out I have been in the library almost allllll day. Not because I have a ton of work (even though as I'm polishing my papers I am realizing how much they suck... and yet I can't be bothered too much by it) but because the internet in my room died. It is quite tragic and it still hurts to talk about it, but combined with the fact that my phone is out of money, I am very much the hermit. Talk about a change from spending day in and day out with two people for an entire month... ohhhh those giiiirls.

Anyway, so we went on to our last destination -- NICE! (and Monaco but I kind of count the two of them together). There is no doubt in my mind that Nice is AMAZING. I am such a lover of the coast, anywhere, that it is ridiculous. I just feel so much better when I am by the water, I guess. And as Fort told me, Nice is niiiiice (he's so punny!). Sun shining, sparkling blue water, palm trees, basically any stereotype you could imagine about the South of France was embodied in Nice. The first day we sat on the beach (a common theme, even though it was a yucky rock beach. COME ON GUYS GET IT TOGETHER. Sand is where it's aaaat), and watched the sun set.... absolutely gorgeous. the next day we decided to be ultra cool and baller and so on and went to Monaco, a 25 minute train ride away. And I am proud to report that WE GAMBLED!!! Really poorly, but we gambled nonetheless. Probably thirty seconds after I put my five euros in the slot machine, I was out.. Molly actually had some exciting moments with poker, especially when we had people contributing to the success and providing advice, but pretty soon she was out too. and I try not to talk about Jenny. NO I'M JUST KIDDING. The machine did eat her money so that was exciting as well. Who said we didn't know how to gamble? After an overly expensive meal (as strange as this may sound, I just got hit with a craving for in n out, even though I have been there once in my life... I think it's because I'm hungry right now and I was thinking about how Jenny got a burger for lunch that day and then I thought mmmm in n out. weird thought process, I'm glad I brought everyone along for that). Anyway after an overly expensive meal, but it is Monaco after all, we.... went to the beach!!! true looove. I also have the BEST tan lines ever now, from all the combination of the cuts I was wearing, so to all the haters who think I'm too white, no longer!

Next day, we went up to the chateau (possibly. it's all very fuzzy right now), which had GORGEOUS views over the water and the town.... unfortunately we had a little... accident. No, no bed wetting this time... we decided to capture the typical jumping picture and unfortunately I have only had one person who has been able to take it on the first try. So we're trying to get Molly and about ten jumps later, she has THE FATAL JUMP... that is, fatal for her shoe, which is flung off her foot and plummets to the ground below. We peer over the edge, after laughing hysterically, and determine that it MIGHT be in grabbing distance.. so we stumble down to the overlook below, Molly hobbling on one foot, and proceed to come up with an elaborate system for Molly to grab her shoe, consisting of her perched outside the fence trying to prevent people from jumping (or grabbing errant shoes), holding on to one railing for dear life while stretching for the shoe as I maintain a firm hold on her arm in order to push her off. just kidding, in order to grab on to her, although we all know I'm not even strong enough to lift a pizza box, probably. 

So, that afternoon we elect to.... go to the beach! And that, my friends, is how I spent the last few days of my trip. I mean it is the beach rules though -- you don't go for a measly hour, you go for as long as you possibly can. Otherwise it's just insulting. am I right? I am RIGHT.

So, we wake up early the next morning and return to typical London after spending a few days in 70+ weather relaxing on the beach .... it is a little weird to see leaves on the trees and see the sun still up after 6:30. In just two week's time, though, I will be returning to the States, bouncing between DC, VA, and NY for May, then switching between DC and VA for the rest of the summer... about to get back to real life and it is WEIRD.

the end, the end

well, my friends, we knew it had to happen. The end of the journey. The end of the line. And that time is tonight -- we will be flying back to merry old England tomorrow morning, then I will be shuttling back to the United States in two weeks. I absolutely, 100% cannot BELIEVE that so much time has gone by, and that my semester abroad is almost done... BUT I will do my wistful reflection when I officially leave Londonland. For now, let us just discuss FRAAAANCEEE!

so as you may or may not know, I do not have the .... best relationship with France. It's no one's fault... I'm just not crazy about Paris (overrated), and it has ALWAYS been raining when I've come. Not exactly things to write home about. so I vowed that I would not return to France unless it were warm and I were with someone who speaks French. Well, both things were kiiiinnnddaa true on this trip (cue Molly looking like an idiot as she tries to think about what the phrase would be in French. I kept itching to text Fort for help.  I'M JUST KIDDING! she really has been an absolute GODSEND on this trip, especially in Frogland.  OOoooh so I'm sitting here in the hallway because that's where the wireless is best, and this man who was American walked by and asked me in really broken French if I had wireless. I really wanted to tell him that I spoke English, but I decided to play along. So much more fun).

ALL RIGHT so we leave the land of overpriced goods behind (ie Switzerland. Seriously! so expensive! my little heart couldn't take it!) and journey over to France... and by journey, I mean we took a bus into France since the train was dead or something equally dramatic. Certainly an interesting thing, since we weren't exactly sure that the bus would get us there or how long it would be. Also, we have had SUCH GOOD LUCK on this trip as in it did not rain at ALL. The only time it really rained was when we were on the bus, or inside, but as SOON as we stepped outside, it wouldn't be raining. Someone is looking out for us, surely. Mother Nature obviously. 

SO, we get to Lyon... unfortunately our hostel is at the top of the hill and we had some genuinely scary roommates in a kind of dirty room. As spoiled as it sounds, I really do not want to stay in a hostel again. I am hosteled out. I refuse to travel again until I can afford a hotel room. rich husband, where art thou? am I too k10 for you?

and now, I shall compose a list of people who should NOT stay in hostels.

1) If you know you are a snorer, stop being selfish and DO NOT STAY IN A DORM ROOM IN A HOSTEL. Yes, I know it's cheaper. But I really don't care when my bed is literally vibrating from your snores. I really wanted to shove my fist down your throat (and Jenny probably wanted to cut off your eyelids, her torture device of choice) 

2) If you are over 35, it's just weird for you to stay in a hostel. Again, I know it's cheaper. But if I, at 21, can afford to stay in a hotel, so can you. If you can't, you have no business traveling. Stay home and earn money.

The list might not be lengthy, but I assure you, every bit of that has WEIGHT. I have been contemplating this for a while.

so we got into Lyon late in the afternoon and really just walked around, had dinner, lounged, etc. Our standbys. I was a little crankipuss so not too enjoyable. But the next day we got to explore the ROMAN RUINS which we all know gets me as happy as a fraternity boy at a jello-wrestling match (or something not QUITE so graphic). The Roman theater is still used today (amazing! I LOVE THE ROMANS!!! rrr, taking over the globe and crushing everyone in their path... LOVE IT!) and there was a VERY extensive Gallo-Romain museum, which also had my tail wagging. And I do love when things are written in English as well. We did a lot of sitting around and relaxing, as usual, although I am now proud to say that I have played cards in a Roman theater. Jeaaaaallouuus. The rest of the day we mostly ate... I am so serious. We had the good luck to find a ben and jerrys ON FREE CONE DAY. I WAS FAR TOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT. I can't help it if I like to eat. I've had bad influences forcing me to finish all of my food. Although we all know my organs are abnormally small.

The next day, something quite tragic happened. It still hurts to talk about it, but I will try to explain. One of our roommates in the hostel was someone... scary. She was not only over 35, SHE WAS A SNORER and also someone fond of going to bed at 8:30 and demanding lights-out-everyone-quiet as well. And yet she was INCREDIBLY LOUD when she woke up in the morning. I almost threw a hissy fit (I am training at the heels of the master to write nasty-grams). So we are getting ready to roll out Wednesday morning... I open the door, and she is standing there. In my way. Blocking the path. The woman I have sworn to hate for all eternity. I politely try to slip past her, but she GRABS MY SHOULDER and says menacingly, "Ca va?" in a very low, almost growling voice. (now she really just said it normally but we have exaggerated the story so much in the succeeding days that now it's like the devil himself saying it). I weakly smile in response while I shout "I HATE YOU" in my bed (I develop hatred very quickly). However, she is not done yet. She reaches over... AND KISSES MY CHEEK. I accept it, grudgingly. BUT SHE'S NOT DONE. Still holding on to me with her claw, she exposes her cheek and pats it, making it QUITE CLEAR WHAT SHE WANTS (even though I am NOT that kind of girl). I see no recourse but to kiss her back. THE WOMAN I HAD SWORN TO HATE.

Unfortunately for her I had just rinsed my mouth so my chin was REALLY wet. she probably thinks I have an unfortunately condition. 

So, we leave Lyon and trundled on to Nice, and I will finish this at a later point in time... I'm still shuddering after my encounter with CA VAAA?!

Austria and Switzerland -- two for the price of one!

Yes that's right my little children -- I am just going to quickly (ha! as if I write anything quickly!) summarized Austria and Switzerland into one fun entry. Partly because we spent only a few days in each place, and partly because we didn't do too much, and mostly because I am EXHAUSTED right now (and it's only 5pm..... LAME). I suppose the overwhelming theme for our vacation now is complete exhaustion and laziness though. We have definitely slowed down the  frenzied going-to-every-museum-possible, being ultimate tourists pace and now spend quite a bit of time just... sitting in parks, watching the world go by (Andrew actually has been referenced a LOT on this trip. Way to get fame four years later, our unctuous tour guide of days past!)

So, we say auf widersomething to Germany and trundled down to Austria... and by trundle, I mean move veeerrrrry slowly throughout the Alps. It was a GORGEOUS trip, though, if a bit weird seeing the snow still on the ground in these towns... come on people, it's April! Get the memo! Also we most likely took the most inefficient train possible because really I could have walked faster. I don't care that we were teetering precariously on the side of the mountain. Rule #76. But, as we were talking with our sexy sexy American accents, an olderish woman starting talking to us -- a Canadian (but we didn't hold that against her) high school teacher who apparently just heard us sprenchen zie englishy (that is not correct in so many ways) and wanting to chat! Lovely. Unfortunately her husband got caught in the train doors when they alighted, but you can't have everything in life.

SO, we arrive in Innsbruck safe and sound. Innsbruck is a tiny-ish university city located at the feet of some of the biggest mountains you could ever imagine - and our hotel (which was unfortunately located UP a hill... how is it I am SO BUFF now and not when I catch pneumonia sitting on a plane?! but we made it up the hill!) overlooked it all... we were moved to another room our second night there, which had a balcony with the most AMAZING view. I cannot believe that is my life. I really need to get back to the States, if only to get a reality check! We don't do too much that first day (or really ever again on this trip... I'm warning you, we are LAZY) but we walk around the city -- typical European old town center. I am soo jaded following this trip. What I previously would have seen as adorable and amazing I now just accept as ordinary. 

The next day, we make the two hour pilgrimage to SALZBURG -- home of Mozart and also THE SOUND OF MUSIC! Yes my friends, we took the Sound of Music tour around the city. You may think that is lame, but zillions of other people have done it before us, so at least we aren't the only lame ones! And we didn't pay for it, so that makes me feel good about myself, maybe. We ate lunch in a GORGEOUS park (see facebook, absolutely amazing flowers. If only I had foliage setting). This park was also the sight of one of the songs they sang, as was a fountain we saw, some building, and the abbey up on the hill. Long story short, we spent a few hours walking around Salzburg just to see filming locations, and felt GREAT about it. We also went to Mozart's birthplace which had some interesting information about his life and times and his first violin and first composition! The inner music nerd in me squealed quite a few times in that museum. More importantly, we got some Mozartkugels (which I have yet to try but have heard are AMAZING. All I know is that they are balls of something delicious. At least I hope so because I dropped over a euro on them and we all know how stingy I am with my money). 

Next day, we go out to the Swarovski "Crystal World," which was probably the trippiest trip I have ever experienced (although it's not like I've ever tripped out before, so I guess it's a weird comparison). Basically just different exhibits using crystal -- normal stuff like statues or something made from crystal, but then there was the crystal dome, the room of dreams, the room that kept changing colors .... seriously tripping out. Luckily they had a playground that definitely was NOT made for 20 year olds to play on, but has that ever stopped us? And we saw a little kid peeing in the bushes, although we thought it was a statue until he moved. I wish Jenny hadn't commented on his tushey. Maybe he should join the coalition trying to pee all over GW...

So the next day, we spend most of the day traveling to Switzerland, home of the REALLY EXPENSIVE STUFF. Seriously, it's DISGUSTING. Even though the dollar is slightly stronger, it doesn't matter when a burger from Burger King is something like 13 fr. THIRTEEN. I CAN'T HANDLE THAT. Sticker shooock. So today we ate baguettes for lunch. Who said we aren't healthy? Once we get into Bern, we spend the afternoon walking around town -- it's the capital of Switzerland, but just a wee little thing! Einstein's house, bear pits (actually really sad. Bear. in a pit. the name says it all). More importantly, there is a marathon going on so everywhere we go we see RUNNERS. Jenny and I had our own little marathon in celebration and I WON! (she let me. she's so nice. like Paul Potts). 

Unfortunately, the runners also cut off a lot of paths to get to things... for example, we wanted to go up to the Rose Gardens, but the road was blocked... so we decide, of COURSE we should scale this hill to get to the footpath at top. And by we I mean me. And then, of course, right at the top, I slide back down the almost 90-degree incline, collecting dirt all over my body (AND I WORE MY NEW JEANS THAT DAY!) and almost slide into the marathon. It was quite exciting. If only I weren't such an idiot.

Today we took a train out to Luzern, another town in Switzerland. Unfortunately, it was overcast, so we couldn't go up into the mountains (which is apparently THE most gorgeous sight you could ever imagine), but we walked around town, scaled a tower (of course) and saw the saddest monument in the entire world, according to Mark Twain. Now we're back to Bern, about to get dinner and then a quiet night (as usual. We are LAZY and LAME and POOR) before heading to France tomorrow... only a few more days left on the trip, and most spent probably sitting on watching the world go by, before BACK TO LONDONTOWN!!!! aaah English.

GERMANY PART III. finally.

phwwwoooar apparently I had a TON to say about Germany! I bet you are leaping with joy that I have such word vomit huh? ANYONE so we leave Munich and head two hours down south to Fussen, which is a little town extremely close to the famous castle of the supposedly-mad-maybe-just-eccentric King Ludwig. These castles (and don't ask me to spell them... I MIGHT be able to do it, Neuschwanstein and Hohensomething? For some reason I can NEVER remember that one. I am so embarrassed!). Anyway, so them there castles served as the inspiration for Disney's Cinderella castle, and it is ABSOLUTELY true. The entire time I felt like I was at Disney World. Never Disney Land. EAST COAST PRIIIIDE! The Hoh one was bright sun-yellow and his childhood home and let me point out - his summer home - and still BIG. Ridiculous. Not as big as Molly's home, of course, but then again not all of us can live in the lap of luxury like the Captain can. So this house was normal-ish, actually not that opulent for royal standards... but then...

we get to Neuschwanstein. The one built by the mad one himself, the one he only lived in for 172 days before mysteriously dying having committed suicide or been MURDERED?! (so I'm watching the Thomas Crowne Affair and the most perfect music for that sentence just came up. Fort, I feel like I watched this with you but only partly? am I making that up? you know I tend to lie). And this castle was a CASTLE. Most of the rooms are incomplete, but those that ARE complete are completed dedicated to Wagner, the musician. So painted scenes from his operas, a beautiful hall for him to perform in, the works. And it was at the top of this MASSIVE hill overlooking the Alps, so COMPLETELY gorgeous of course! I, like Molly, wish I had a segway to get around everywhere, but it was SO cool to see. Even though all of our pictures look like they were photoshopped. Fake, fake, fake, just like everything in the cloisters museum. We trundled back to our room and had a quiet night (since the night before was the infamous Beer Challenge, it was much deserved!) The next day we went to AUSTRIA for the end of the week... which I shall talk about in my NEXT ENTRY!

GERMANY PART II.

PHWOAR finishing up with GERMANY! It would be so much easier if Molly weren't jabbering away on skype next to me but every time I say something mean to her she looks at me with little puppy dog eyes and I feel like I just drowned a young child and I have to take it back immediately. So, run down of the rest of Germany...

We arrive in Munich and are actually staying in a pretty shnazzy hostel... the Wombat, thankyouverymuch. We got to stay in the "Pink Wing" apparently, with a girl who didn't wear pants and a 30 year old woman who decided it was the best idea EVER to keep cheese in a locker overnight. Only slightly disgusting. And by slightly I of course mean really horrible. Sooo what did we do that first day? AH YES. We PLANNED to go to the old art museum (do NOT ask me to type out what it actually is in German... I feel like German is worse than French. Even though the French pronounce about half their letters, I feel the Germans add about twenty thousand extra unnecessary letters. Of course there is no need whatsoever for anyone to speak French, not even the French themselves. Take THAT Francophiles! SPEAK ENGLISH!). All right, so we were going to go, but turns out to get the student discount, you need your student ID... who would have thought? I tried to work my wiles my batting my eyelashes and speaking in an attractive tone, but apparently that doesn't work on 60 year old German women. Weird. I should have worn high heels and a short skirt, because some claim that is the automatic slam dunk for getting what you want. I prefer wits. 

So, instead we walk over to the park, which is HUUUUGE and home of the "surfer's wave," where guys in wetsuits (uuggh wetsuits. not fun. everyone should go to Virginia Beach, where you don't need a wetsuit and you might come across a mystery in the murky water!) "surfed" a "wave" in the river. It was a little strange, but interesting nonetheless. Also, NUDE SUNBATHERS! Again I said nude instead of naked. Meissel lesson. One of the few things I learned in art history (along with the definition of homoeroticism. Lies, I learned a lot in Meissel's class. LOVE HIM). It was so amusing, though, normally dressed people sprinkled along with people casually chilling without any clothes on... but I swear my mind is a movie, I always blur out naughty bits or they were all cleverly covered with a book or a shrubbery or a couple of pineapples or something like in Austin Powers. 

So, that was basically the first day... the next day we rush over to the museum when it opened, which was AMAZING. A ton of art from about the 15th to the 18th century, with an entire ROOM dedicated to Rubens (of course Molly's house has two rooms dedicated to Rubens, as she is a richie). Still just blowing my mind to see all this famous artwork in one place. I also find it so interesting how almost EVERYTHING from that period is religious. Lets you know where their minds where, I suppose... until we shoved everything to be secular. 

Then, the serious bit of the day... we joined a tour group to go out to Dachau, which is just outside Munich and was the first (and longest-running) concentration camp during WWII. This was a concentration camp/work camp, not a death camp (still had some of the "death equipment" though...), but it was still a very sobering experience to be there, listening to the statistics of who would be sent and why, and to see how and where and WHY they had to live there. It really makes me sick to my stomach to think of what human beings are capable of. However, it was also one of the most enlightening things I have ever done, I think, and I would strongly encourage everyone to go to one if they have the chance. I think it's so very important.... as much as you can read about something, see the pictures, watch the movies, it doesn't compare to actually being there. 

SO. Finished with Dachau, moving on to the NEXT DAY... oh gosh this is all so mushed up in the head. All this stream-of-consciousness is just so K10, I know, I'm sorry. That's why I'm never going to get a husband... bumms. So, next day is our day of WALKING. We start off going to the NEW art museum, basically picking up from where the old one left off... another amazing experience, because we had audio guides and saw work by Van Gogh, Matisse, Gaugain, and my FAVORITE OF ALL TIME - Manet painting Monet painting someone else! IT'S A PUNCH IN THE TIME SPACE CONTINUUM. I CAN'T HANDLE THAT. Look I'm cool with you being straight but I don't want to SEE IT ALL THE TIME. Everyone, please. watch dorm life. 

After a quick lunch, we join another tour group for a free walking tour around Munich, which was a toooon of fun. I really love Munich -- it reminded me a lot of DC. The whole city feel, but not as rushed as New York (especially because there aren't any skyscrapers in Munchen and they actually have a height limit like in DC...). We just took in the sights, learning about the history of the city and a fair bit about the foundation of the Third Reich... another weird thing to experience, walking down the street and seeing where Hitler gave his first public speech, where the first shoot-out occurred, where a plaque was "commemorating" the Nazis who lost their lives in said shoot-out. Interestingly, Munich doesn't have any obvious monuments to WWII. Apparently Berlin is all out there with the monuments and the apologies, but Munich is a bit shyer. Munich clearly would not be an orange in the color personality test. Too introverted. 

So, after the free walking tour, we have a few hours (climb another tower OF COURSE. Every time we do I feel tempted to shout SANCTUARY holding a gypsey woman above my head as the evil priest guy tries to kill everyone in sight, but then I remember that a) I'm not a hunchback b) I'm not at Notre Dame and c) Jenny won't let me hold her over my head). That night, we participate in a BEER CHALLENGE around Munich, where a tour guide takes a group around to four different beer halls, teaches us beer songs and traditions, and provides us with some free beer, of course! sounds hokey but it was actually WAY too much fun. That's about all my lawyer has advised me to say, but I will say we have made a friend for life in Joel. Oh, Joel. He instantly won our hearts when we were calling for Molly as we usually do, in a British accent (MOLLLL-LAAY.. I may have stolen that from someone else).... and he joins in and then says "You sound like you're from London!" If you don't get it, you don't deserve to. If you do, welcome to the JOEL CLUB.

so, MUNICH IS OVER. The next day we went to Fussen.... oh GOD this is lengthy. I can't believe we've done SO MUCH. Fussen might be its own (short) entry later. calm down children. go play with your toy trucks in the meantime.

GERMANY part I.

Guten taaag (possibly. it's actually amazingish, we have all been picking up Germans like pros... I mean I already knew how to say 'I am a butterfly' in German, but I know how to say "ascending into heaven" - himmelfahrt. hahahaha. or it means something like that. I'm not actually sure. I know that himmel means heaven and all the portraits that have Jesus going into heaven say Christo Himmelfahrt, so I'm assuming. but you know what assuming does.)

SO. We're in Germany. We have left the Netherlands, after a painful train ride... not physically painful, but we wanted to leave at 10:30 except that train died or something and we had to wait until TWELVE THIRTY. But I got a milkshake from Burger King in the train station except the cashier was all snotty like, "sure you don't want a coke? Now I gotta get the cookies all up in there and they have me pressing all these buttons and I don't even know what I'm doing... nah you can have a coke." it was a little weird.

man, I am all over the place. We chug a chug into Frankfurt for the night, to use as a type of pitstop before heading on the ROMANTIC ROAD! so cute. This entire time in Germany has been a bit of an eye-opener, I suppose. Everything I know about Germany is heavily weighted by the Second World War and everything associated with it. I never considered the destruction that hit Germany from Allied bombing, and things from their perspective I suppose. but here we are in Frankfurt, which was almost completely destroyed by the bombing, so all the buildings are modern skyscrapers. It's just strange to think about it from the German perspective. And yet, Frankfurt wasn't as bad as I supposed. We really just got dinner before relaxing in the hotel (!) room, but we did meet someone from Boston who followed his dream to scoop ice cream all the way to Frankfurt. I seriously have ice cream WAY more in Europe than I do in the states. It's amazing and a little disgusting.

The next day we head down to Wurzburg, which is a town on the Romantic Road that was also heavily destroyed during WWII, to the point that it was almost not rebuilt... it was only after a protest from the citizens (the few who were left) that the town was rebuilt. And it was so adorable! We stayed in a REALLY cute pension with an adorable family running it, and we had our own room, and bonus it was right across from the train station - excellent for lazy bums such as ourselves. We scamper over to the Residenz, a GORGEOUS palace to the east of the city, where the princebishop lived. Blah blah history, gorgeous building -- the point is Molly thought the chandeliers were TACKY. Can you believe that? RU. Also more importantly, there was an amazing fresco from the 1700s (possibly) that had all the continents represented.. and apparently America is full of Native Americans, crocodiles, and not much else.

After the Residenz, we head over to the FORTRESS, clearly up on the hill... although we may have unfortunately taken the most roundabout way up the hill, we got to burn some cals, build up our muscle strength, and enjoy gorgeous views of the surrounding vineyards and countryside as we rested about twenty times going up. all worth it at the top though. And we're continuing with our goal to try to climb as many towers/high up things as possible... I am going to be SVELTE! especially as today I officially spent less than ten euro on all three meals. thank you so much. I know I am amazing. Molly is currently CLEANSING, btdubs. In case you cared. today she had an apple, banana, salad, and trout. Oh and some potatoes. I'm so glad I just told you that. 

the next day, we spend a leisurely morning walking around town, taking an Irish bath of course (which consisted of us going to the perfume aisle of the department store and sampling all the different perfumes, so we didn't have to take an ACTUAL shower), and applying makeup. You have not lived until you have seen Molly's beautiful eye makeup -- blue, purple, green, and orange. Only on one eye. And she kept it on the ENTIRE day, which was especially funny when we met new friends in the next train station and she had to explain why she looked like a crackwhore. 

We then take three (wait... two, sorry) trains to get to ROTHENBURG, the cutest little town this side of the Mississippi. In the Thirty Years War, it was occupied and it never really recovered... it was forgotten for 250 years, then turned into a tourist destination. There aren't ANY new buildings in the city walls, and everything is GEARED towards tourists. I haven't seen that many Americans in one place since America. Regardless, still fun. Especially because in the train station we met a few American students staying in our hostel and became BFFNs with them for the next day.... and of course they thought we were hySTERICAL, which we appreciate. 

Most of the first day, we just wandered around the cobblestone streets, popping into the CHRISTMAS VILLAGE ... this place is Whoville. Largest Christmas shop anywhere in the WORLD (possibly). I almost expect Cindy Lou Who to come along singing "Where are you Chrriiiistmas" while a hairy green man who can contort his face would pop around the corner stealing all the presents. Anyway, blah blah, we walk around, and take a night tour of the city with a man with a lantern and an axe. I will follow ANYONE dressed like that. Next day, more sightseeing, climbing towers, walking on the city wall, sleeping in the park for a while... the usuals. Isn't it fun how easily I run out of steam with these things?

ANYWAY, Next we're moving on to Munich, but I'll write that one out at the end... in the middle of my Munchen adventure now!

AMSTERDAM!

All right my children, so we have finished with Belgium and are now in THE NETHERLANDS! (although technically I am in Germany right now... someone's a little sloooow with updating ie me so embarrassed blushing etc). So, WHERE SHALL I START.

We roll in Amsterdam, playa style because that's how we do (actually we have talked about gangs WAY more on this trip that I ever have in my life... uh oh I have to watch my speech because my grandma told me that she gave this address to my greataunts and greatuncles and so on). Anyway, we arrive at our hostel, and by our hostel I of COURSE mean the Shelter City Christian Hostel! Yes that's right. The Methajew, the Jew, and the Confused decided to stay in a Christian hostel. What can I say, I don't like skeezeballs, and it wasn't expensive. Also there was nightly evening prayer, and scary messages painted on the wall. It was an eye-opening experience. Most importantly, there was a kitty!! Jenny will tell you it had scary clouded eyes, but I thought it was loving. At least I'm not like Molly who gasps dramatically every time she sees an animal. I swear, a rat with the bubonic plague could scamper on to her shoe, and she would just go AWWWW! 

Anyway, we decide to roam around the city for a little while with Molly Tour Guide (again, no relation to Sean Tour Guide). We peek into a courtyard where only single, devout women are allowed to live (all my single ladies, all my single ladies). Very pretty. We also roam on down the Bloemenmarkt (teeheee), which is a floating flower market.... flowers flowers EVERYWHERE! where's my albatross? Of course that was also the infamous spot where MTG temporarily resigned and Jenny Tour Guide took over, in her best gangsta turned Brooklyn accent. Toooo funny.

We then meet up with Annie, our friend from KCL who was popping into Amsterdam after being in Italy for the week. We trek over to the Anne Frank House, which is the most simple house front overlooking a quiet canal... it's so strange to think about all that went on in there. I cannot IMAGINE not being able to go outside for TWO YEARS, and living in those tight quarters with so many people... finding happiness from putting up pictures on the bedroom wall, since the windows where blacked out... of course it would have been more sobering had there not been a three year old brat with his parents screaming through the house, with his infant sibling slobbering around everywhere. LAME. Please parents. contain. contain. 

Next day we decide to do it the Amstadam way and rent bikes to get around the city! As some of you may know, I am not the most coordinated or athletic person... and of course the last time I rode a bike was probably 9th grade. Pathetic. But, it went off (mostly) without a hitch!! (oooommg so last night we were with a tour group and a car was trying to get past us and this (American) guy got really angry and shouted at the car "EXCUSE ME. This is a tour group. You have to take an alternate route." I thought there was going to be a rumble. He's here to win, not here to make friends!) 

So, we have our bikes, MTG fearlessly leading, I'm holdin' down the back (paaarttaay central!). We bike down to the Van Gogh Museum, which ROBBED me of 15 euro, but was OH so worth it as it had Starry Night at the time... of course my mind kept flashing to that Boy Meets World episode. I'm pretty sure only Sean will understand that reference. Still amazing though. We spent the rest of the afternoon biking around, to the windmill in the city, down canals, to the Rembrandt house, etc etc etc. You have not lived until you have seen us STRUGGLE to get across the incline of the bridge.. wobbling all over the place, quite embarrassing and unladylike of us. Of course, that night was the night of THE COINCIDENCE, in which we are walking down the street at 11:30, stop in a random bakery, and RUN INTO OUR FRIENDS FROM BRUGES. Out of all the bakeries in all the towns in all the world. AAAH nooo I can't remember my second favorite part of any movie ever... my first favorite part in any movie ever is in Casablanca. The second is a mystery. sorry, that just veered off in a COMPLETELY strange direction.

all right, I feel like that was an abrupt round-up of Holland, but we alas only had about a day and a half there. We've been in Germany for about three days now, and have a few more to go before heading to Austria. It has certainly been an interesting trip, if only because I discovered that Molly is the BEST person to wake up in the morning ... she just smiles at you! Jenny, on the other hand, snarls at me with her eyes. I don't know how that is possible, but she does it. 

All right, next entry will be Germany... or at least Germany leading up to Munich. 

AND JENNY JUST REMEMBERED THE SECOND MOVIE!! I looove in Shrek, when Puss-in-Boots gets caught by the popo with catnip and he's like, "it's not mine, it's a friend's!" ahaahah

all right now I'm done.

BELGIUM PT 2!

Last night in Belgium my friends... and let me say, what an interesting place (if only because I do NOT understand Dutch at ALL. This is why I need to travel around with a Liliane in my pocket). When I last left you, I believe we had one night left in Brussels... and what a WEIRD night it was. Let me just wrap it up by saying that I was given the offer of French lessons from a 60 year old Parisian if I would visit him. I believe that about sums it up. Oh and also getting surrounded by pubescent Belgians in the Grand Place later that night. I love them young.

So, the next day, we choo choo on over to Bruges. Although I haven't seen the movie (booo) it is SO ADORABLE I can barely handle it. It looks like a Disneyworld version of a town, or, as I kept saying, Genovia. You know you love me, xoxo. Cobblestone streets, canals cutting through everywhere, beautiful Northern Renaissance architecture, just picture perfect. Strangely enough, as we are checking into our hostel (Snuffels -- and may I say we are on the 2nd aka 3rd floor and there is only a rickety spiral staircase to get up... and we have a month's worth of stuff... ADVENTURE)... as we are checking into our hostel literally two minutes into it, some of Molly's friends from GW walk in the door! Talk about KISMET! So we all make friends, agree to meet up later, and then we shuffle out the door to enjoy Bruges.

Virtually all of Bruges is walkable, at least the historic, center part of town (and it only has 20,000 people that live in the center of town, so it's not huge), so we did a LOT of hoofing around squares, narrow, windy streets, and so on. We mostly walk around for the afternoon, although we did scamper in the park with the windmills for a little while, and then do the momentous task of climbing almost 400 stairs to get to the top of the BELL TOWER. Surprisingly enough, it was not that difficult! Or we just kick booty, take your pick. After saying hey boy heeey to Quasimodo, my phone interview, and a delish dinner, we pack it in for the night... but THE NIGHT WAS ONLY STARTING! Thus began one of the funniest nights I have had in a while, consisting of playing board games with Jenny, Molly, Molly's friends, and their Australian roommate... and let me tell you, nothing can beat watching someone playing Taboo try to get his partner to guess "penguin" by saying "it's a batman movie! it's an animal! it swims and has wings!" and his partner just staring at him blankly. of course then you have me and Jenny on a team -- all Jenny has to do is look at me and say "Kate wears this at the end of the movie," and I instantly guess "lifevest." Pure magic. We also broke out the monopoly, only it was the BRITISH version, so even classier. It gave me a thrill to see "Old Kent Street" even though it was only worth about 60 quid. 

So, after a fantastic (albeit smoky) night, we spend today doing much of the same: walking around town, taking a canal cruise, and going into two churches that actually have remarkable things. One church has a statue of the Madonna and Child by Michelangelo (and a wedding that we creeped on later that afternoon.... bride's dress was kind of ug, but they had an old-school party bus that made us happy), and another church had a vial containing some of Christ's blood. It was actually a very solemn, special, and unique experience. 

As for now, we're taking a break before heading out for one last Belgium-ish meal (waffles and fries DUH), then heading to Amsterdam tomorrow! Helllllllo, Holland!

BELGIUM

Bonjour mon petit chien, the day you have all anxiously been waiting for has arrived: I have embarked on my grand European tour! A marathon of European cities and towns, starting in northern Europe and ending up on the Med, rest assured that I will be poor, starving, and sleep-deprived by the end, but I will have had ze time of my liiiife (hopefully. it probably won't consist of Patrick Swayze lifting me over his head. but you never know I guess).

Anyway, I always end up rudely interrupting myself. After bidding adieu to my parents, who came to London for four days (and were upset that I only gave them five words in my last post, but SEE?! you two got a few sentences here!) I somehow crammed an entire month's worth of stuff in my suitcase -- and that's including twelve snack bags of chips, eight mini boxes of cereal, and two rolls of cookies. as the Pope says at communion, I brought yum yums! Then I trundled off to Brussels on Tuesday with the amazing Jennyfer and Moll-lay to start the marathon! 

By the way, before I get into this, I just want to clarify that you should expect to live vicariously through me with these posts. This is entirely for my own selfish benefit.

ANYWAY, our hostel was actually quite lovely -- the 2go4 Hostel may have had a weird name, but it was in a very nice location and we walked EVERYWHERE. We are big fans of saving as much money as possible, even if it means eating a baguette for lunch (and yes that was our lunch today. Also, I am SO confused and slightly angry with HSBC, to the point that I think I'm going to send them an angry email. How could it possibly have cost me $30 more than it should have to take 200 euros out of an ATM? Even considering the exchange rate, I have no idea where the extra $30 came from. Anyway, moving on). We've also had quite a menagerie of guests... the Happy Snorer who NEVER LEFT THE ROOM. Yes, I will admit we are currently doing a two hour siesta, but that's after leaving this morning at 9, a full day of stuff yesterday, and a month to go. Seriously, the H.S. NEVER left, and always was creepily just staring at his iPhone. We also had the Drunk French Canadians, one of whom decided to jump off the top bunk at five in the morning and spent the next half an hour saying "Oooow owwww." And of course the woman who stripped this morning in front of Jenny's face. 

Regardless, nice hostel, free hot drinks, and good location. After getting in late Tuesday night, we scurry out of the hostel early on Wednesday in order to fully succumb to the toursityness! And of course, our first step after the Grand Place (square surrounded by the Hotel Ville -- city hall, Brussels Museum, etc etc) is WAFFLES!! And let me tell you -- they were not bragging. I have yet to taste anything as delicious. Yes, I got the tourist one piled high with strawberries and chocolate, but my GOD it was amazing. And right around the corner from the national symbol of Belgium -- and I wish I were kidding about this -- the Manneken Pis, "The Little Pissing Boy."  My hand to god this is the national symbol, and I could tell you EVERYTHING about him, including that he was cast in the 17th century and there are many legends about why there is a statue of him, and he has over 700 costumes that various countries have made. Unfortunately for the US costumes there is a "Northerner" costume from the "Secession War." Why don't you just call it the War of Southern Stubbornness, huh?! damn yankee supporters. no worries, he has his own website, google him.

continuing on with our touristness, we wandered around the old section of Brussels and wound our way to the Jeanneke Pis which -- you guessed it -- is the little girl pissing! Of course some feminists back in the 80s got angry and so they put her up. She's a little obscene, though, all squatting. I don't know. Another fun fact, Manneken can also pee beer and does so on special occasions. THAT is a good party trick. So after our walk, lunch (FRITES MAIS OUI. I wonder when Fort is going to get angry with my French usage), the Ancient Art Museum, Molly falling asleep in a fountain for an hour, and a dinner of pitaaaas (they really are obsessed with pitas), we scamper back to the hostel for a few hours so I can do my phone interview. Stressful half hour trying to find out how to do it, BUT I found some magnums (ice cream not condoms -- continuing with my theme of I BROUGHT YUM YUMS!) so we were all happy. Especially as we then went to Delirium Bar, which I highly recommend to anyone going to Brussels. Fun atmosphere, and over 2000 beers to pick from -- and some that taste like NOT BEER which is AMAZING!

More importantly, we also made some friends -- including members of the Austrian Parliament who were in Brussels for a conference -- and some Danes (not Denmarkians as I may have said) who were struck by our beauty on their way to the toilet and had to speak to us. After some ribbing from them about our accents, one decides to introduce himself and I faithfully shall recall the transcript for you. Keep in mind that they are Scandinavian, as am I: 

(introducing himself around the circle and shaking hands): "Hello, I am Christian."

"Hi, I'm Molly."

"Christian."

"Jenny."

"Christian."

"Kristen."

"...yes?"

"no, I am Kristen."

"What?"

"My NAME is KRISTEN."

"....."

"I have Swedish ancestors so I have a Swedish name"

"...."

"Kristen... my name... is Kristen..."

"Oh, so your parents are from Sweden but you are American?"

"Eh, close enough."

aaaand scene. I don't think he EVER understood me, to be honest.

NEXT DAY! Thursday, again we left bright and early to take in the city (and get our eurail passes validated... who's ready for 30+ hours of train travel??!). Royal Park and Palace (eh), flea market (I am often in the market for African tribal masks, used spoons, and dirty shoes, so it was perfect for me), Brussels Museum, little bit of shopping, and here we are... resting up before dinner and going out. 

I will say this for Brussels: WEIRD city. It's the oddest mix of modern, ugly buildings, and gorgeous cobblestone streets. I met some lovely people, though, and had some AMAZING food to top it off. I still firmly believe most major cities are the same, so I'm excited to get to Bruges tomorrow to see the quintessential town. The guidebook said "Bruges can't help being so cute" (maybe), and I can't wait to see if it's true! And to see how many days I can continue on by eating only a baguette for lunch. Mmmm good health.